"Y NOT, SHE MEOWED BY
ROBBY S. WITT
"Y NOT," SHE MEOWED
"Y Not,” She Meowed: Skye is Falling Mystery is a fabulous lesbian, murder mystery, sci-fi, romance, and fun-filled, action-packed adventure all rolled up into one cosmic story. The epic tale features a black cat with a white mustache called Dele Mustache. There’s a galactic load of interesting characters to love, too.
After the unlucky demise of men, the all-new-women-only-world of Earth becomes Goddess centered. Artemis is most popular goddess, since she symbolized protection for women, animals, and nature. Earth women join the District of PAW, or Peace for All Women, to make the seventh all-female solar system member.
It is Dele Mustache’s job to follow the wearer of the Artemis pendant through generation after generation. First, Luna Good finds the necklace, then her granddaughter, Captain Skye Good-Night inherits it. Skye follows her fa-ma, Elysium Good-Night, into the District of PAW’s Warrior Women space forces. Unfortunately, Captain Skye Good-Night is accused of murdering her wife and is dishonorably discharged to be captain of the Mariposa Spirit.
While Mariposa Spirit speeds toward Nodado to save the tri-horned horses and rescue them from their imploding moon, Captain Skye Good-Night has to prove to the universe that she did not murder her wife, and solve the mysterious occurrences on board her new assignment. The pressure is on! Can she do it? She’s not alone, the crew of Mariposa Spirit, their unusual pets, and Dele Mustache will all aide her.
Shoot for the moon!
EXCERPTS
Great new technology:
Without waiting for a reply, Honor aimed and pulled the trigger on her Amplifier Blaster at the three Northern Cardinals in the Mountain Cedar tree that was approximately one hundred yards outside the closed window of their hotel room. Everyone had stopped talking. Collectively, they watched the invention. Nothing happen. “Is that it, Professor Bee? Ha!” said Cam. She slapped her thigh. Honor let go of the trigger. Then, she flipped a toggle on the side of it. Suddenly, the room was filled with rich, metallic chirping, “What-cheer, cheer, cheer, purty-purty-purty-purty, sweet-sweet-sweet-sweet.”
* * * *
In the middle of the room, a big light fixture hung from the ceiling that resembled a massive, giant sleeping sea anemone with multiple hanging lifeless tentacles. Suddenly, one arm twitched. Then some more. The tentacles or ceratas glowed a bright, pulsating orange. They wiggled and stretched as a pair of hands would. Without touching Skye, two dropped down forming the outline of a human. Two more joined the others to become arms with hands placed on the hips of the figure as if in contemplation. Up they all returned to the ceiling. A lone tentacle snaked down, and hovered over Skye’s face. Large, human lips formed on the tip of it.
* * * *
The lips and eye tentacles retracted home to the ceiling cluster. The sea anemone light fixture, just before it return to its colorless dormant state, soundlessly yawned, fluffed an imaginary pillow, and sighed happily as it went back to sleep.
* * * *
They walked down a long hallway that resembled a living vein or artery intertwined with a space vessel. Coming to a hub of elevators, Kameko pointed to a ceiling panel in the curved wall. In the center of the panel, protruding toward them, were the ubiquitous tentacles. They swayed rhythmically with the ship's subtle vibrations.
Kameko cleared her throat as she sharply tugged downward on the hem of her tunic. She confidently looked at the captain and said, “The SST Mariposa Spirit is a NuBra class 8C. ‘C’ is for cruiser class. The creators, the Chromodorians, one of the thousands species of Ceratains on the planet Nudibranchia, fashioned the ship in their own image. On earth, nudibranchs are known as the ‘butterflies of the sea.’ In other words, Mariposa Spirit looks like a giant navy and royal blue nudibranch trimmed with gold and white. Or have you, a pretty, flying slug with a skirt-like muscle on top that acts as wings. The ship sails through space on invisible currents referred to as black energy. A huge circular muscle on the bottom of the ship, known as the foot skirt, is the undulation power behind her propulsion. Circling the top edge of the ship is another golden muscle known as the shoulder skirt or wings. It steers the ship. Two large, fat golden horn-like ceratas sit on top of the head of the ship. On the rump sits a large plummet of golden tentacles sticking out like a feathery hat in the wrong place. All ceratas or tentacles perform major or minor functions for the ship. The SST Mariposa Spirit has a friendly optimistic outwardly approach, since a large row of white windows on her ‘face’ makes her seem perpetually smiling.” Kameko ended her commentary with a bow. Without missing a step, she waved her hand at the tentacles that hung above the TAIL Chutes. The doors opened. Long, giant, red and white serpent-looking tentacles dangled inside.
* * * *
“They really are useful. You can attend a number of discussion groups via the rented robot replacement. They make it so easy for all us introverted scientists to stay home or alone in a hotel room, really,” said Delilah. Femininely, she habitually flipped one of her wrists as she finished a sentence, “Look, there’s Dr. Dyana Duckworth’s face on one of the robot replacements. She said she was coming, but I thought she meant in person! I can just imagine her in her hotel room controlling her robot replacement from a comfortable bed after having a facial and a massage. She and the other robot replacements won’t mind being in the nose bleed section. They can zoom in on everything. Lucky, eh?”
* * * *
A different door opened. Ruby and chartreuse flashing tentacles completely wrapped around the chief like a bunch of boa constrictors, from head to toe and pulled her down the chute. A huge belly laugh echoed down the chamber as she went. “Goodness me, I’m game,” said Bunny, who wasn’t going to let Chief Daimon get away with going and not her. “Please, take me to Cargo Bay Five, Deck Four, you simply lovely tentacles!” Baby blue and white tentacles slowly snaked around her and cradled her in a delicate hug. Since she asked so nicely, the tentacles backed gently into the chute. Down she went.
Unique Animals
“Good girl, Iris!” said Honor, “Meet Iris and Otis, they are Giant Sylvanian Skunk dogs, very rare. We found them when they were only six months old. They were trapped on top of a mountain on a planet near the Cin Naar System. I think the pirates thought they could skin them for their fur. I’m afraid they aren’t call skunk dogs for nothing! If they are killed, they reek like the smell of a skunk. They have a special gland, called the ‘Odoriferious Gland,’ which allows them to produce different smells. It dissolves upon death and creates the sulfur smell. Their fur is useless.
* * * *
Children, that’s enough!” said a nose followed by a little goatee that was followed by tuff’s around two ears and finally by a whole male apple green chameleon body that emerged from the wall behind them. He scooped up the little male chameleon into his arms and cradled him like a baby. With his other long, thin, muscular arm and little cuffed hand he pulled the other two, which were girls, into a group hug.
* * * *
“I will stay here. You go inside. It will be fine,” said Poppy who couldn’t take her eyes off the tri-horned horses despite the shaking ground. “I have to go, I’m sorry!” said Nina and she ran back into the safety of the ship. Poppy decided to move her chair even closer to a tree nearer to the action. “I don’t see what harm it could be,” she said out loud. A lone, small tri-horned horse saw Poppy. Her “horns” or ossicones made circles in the air. She had run away from the attempted round-up. The almost all black creature with one white and one ginger marking side by side on the bridge of her nose cautiously edged her way toward the woman in the chair. “Hello, pretty one,” said Poppy when she noticed her. The animal crept up. Her three osssicones circled the air one after another. They were set in a triangular pattern, bent toward her. “That’s a girl,” said Poppy with her hand up for the horse to smell.
* * * *
Skye said, “Phew! What have you gotten yourself into? You smell like bad breath on a turkey vulture!” Skye pulled a face as she turned her head away from Iota. “Great goddess, what are those!” Two large, hairy white dogs came bounding toward her. Each was as big as a recliner chair. They had black noses that stuck out of white furry faces. Their large fluffy tails were striped vertically, white and black. “Yap, yap, yap!” barked Iota. “Woof, Woof!” barked the larger one of the pair. She slowed and pranced over to Iota. The large dog licked her across her little face. The smell of violets filled the air. “Oh, that’s much better! Thank you, Iris,” said Honor. Iris wagged her huge tail, which kicked up a hefty draft that caused Skye’s hair to blow back away from her face. The other large dog soon arrived. He promptly licked Iota, too. A foul smell of burnt liver and onions assaulted their noses. “Otis, that’s not funny!” said Honor who laughed anyway, “You’re a real card!” She pinched her nose as the smell got worse.
Great Characters
Buddy was twelve years senior to Skye. Their fate together had become sealed forever when Skye had saved Buddy from a hay-wired robotic arm during a ground combat exercise. From that point on, they had always watched out for each other’s back. And, as Buddy spent more time with younger warrior woman, she knew that Skye possessed a remarkable mind that the rest of the galaxy had yet to find out about. All her life Buddy had had an underdeveloped perception herself. It could either produce a vague inkling of knowing something might be important or a momentary clear insight like the way she felt about Skye’s intelligence. Either way, the space between her eyebrows would itch relentlessly, which made her frantically tap it.
Unusual Aliens
“So, back to the Ceratains, of course, there is Dooma, the ship’s navigator. She and the two co-pilots, TuTu and Cubio, are all three Bloodles. That Dooma is a real character, just wait and see! The other Ceratains, which are higher on the social scale than Bloodles are the Blue Dragonians. They are Lady Va, Ittuk, and Nibli. Lady Va is the head of the clan and the inventor of TAIL Technology. By the way, she will be there. Usually, she and Nibli are in their lab. Ittuk, Lady Va’s sibling, will be on the bridge. Ittuk is always on the bridge, actually. She monitors the ship’s, well, I don’t know how else to say this except, the ship’s life signs, including all the tentacles around the ship, inside and out. Nibli is Va’s number one companion and assistant. She’ll might be there with their children, not sure. Well, they all help with children. It’s an integral part of their lifestyle. There are other Ceratains onboard, doing ship type jobs. They work alongside us. We need them to help us. The ship is so unique.
* * * *
Skye halted in mid-stride. When she turned, she saw a strikingly beautiful, solid-looking tawny alien woman before her. The alien woman’s sandaled feet stood wide apart. She appeared humanoid except for her skin, which there was plenty to see, since she only wore a bronze breast plate and a short red, police guard skirt. The skin covering her entire body was covered with soft-to-the-touch nubby protrusions. Coming from a planet where volcanoes made up most of the surface, her body always ran very hot. To regulate her body temperature, a specially made, tall stiff headdress sat on her head. Today, the headdress had gold and ruby feathers attached to it that stuck out at various, fanciful angles. Though heavily applied, her make-up was expertly done. Her serpent, sienna eyes shone with intelligence and humor. Only Skye alone keenly noticed a fiery flicker dancing behind them. “I am Chief Daimon Tsergum Hissora Viss Hs’Repka, Chief of Police Guards,” said the alien woman, “Chief Daimon will do.” It was her habit to speak only what needed to be said. Her sibilant sounds in her words were often hard to understand. She stood proud and majestic when she looked directly at Skye.
* * * *
No words would accurately described First Class Yoemum Bunny Winter--crisp and efficient. Her pear shaped figure was clad in blue and white icicle like threads that shimmered as her hips swayed seductively. A gender enhancement chip implant gave her plump blue lips and long, spidery eyelashes. She had decorated them with frosted lipstick and frosted eyeshadow. She was well-known for her ability to be precise and organized. Her skills always met with the highest approval from the District of PAW board of LOPPY or “League of Prestigious Perfectionists Yeomum.”
* * * *
Kameko stood in front of the main library desk with her eyes glued on the girl behind it. Something about the young woman who busily checked in books at the library terminal grabbed her attention. She just couldn’t keep herself from staring at her. The hair on top of the cute woman’s head was short, lavender, kinky, and spread out uniformly in all directions. A form fitting, fine netting of hexagonal shapes covered her entire body, head to toe. The white of her eyes wrapped around a central pupil that resembled a kaleidoscope in continuous motion made of a bouquet of brilliant dancing colors. From a human stand point, she would seem blind. From Gloe Sparkz point of view, she saw too much. She had the ability to see so much information that the netting and gloves she wore helped her to filter out most of it so she could function outside her planet, Lampyra. A planet where highly charge electric particles coursed.
Romance
When the shuttle doors open, Buddy walked out. She had been inside getting the ship ready for takeoff.
“Buddy! Where’s the captain?” asked Kitty. Where the hell do you think you’re going?"
“She is ill, relapsed…I have to take her place,” Buddy said solemnly.
“Buddy!” said Kitty, “No, you can’t go, it’s too dangerous! I I….”
“For howling at the moon! Babe, does that mean you’ll miss me?”
“Bollocks!” Kitty said as she climbed up the ramp and hugged Buddy.
Buddy kissed her full on the mouth.
Detecting
“Let’s get busy! We have to solve this murder before we run out of time to save the tri-horned horses!” said Skye. She clapped her hands together, which ended the meeting.
“Kameko, please, wait a nano-minute,” said Skye as she patted the table top that she leaned upon, “Yoemum Bunny, I want you to look into the personnel files of everyone on the ship. I am looking for possible motives. Coordinate your efforts with Chief Daimon. Chief, I want you to take another look into backgrounds.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Chief Daimon as she looked at Bunny.
Zero-G Games
Zero-g is a game played all over the galaxy. The pros play it in outer space. All that is required is a zero gravity playground and the willingness to be knocked around like a ball inside a pinball machine. -Monica MaeHorse, Outer This World Sports
* * * *
While, Skye Good-Night warmed-up with Buddy Beauceron inside the fish tank, Skye said to her old friend, “Great Goddess, Honor said Lupe wouldn’t mind!” Lupe and Honor argued outside the Fish Tank in the Psychedelic Comet Tails’ dugout. Each team had an area set aside for them not unlike a baseball dugout, but enclosed with the same material the fish tank was made of. A round portal-airlock with a technologically devised spiral rubber face opened and closed exponentially between no gravity and gravity. To access the tank from the outside, an ordinary ship’s door operated on the opposite end of the dugout from the portal.
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